Bolehland.net | Policemen in Bolehland

This pie is fresh from the oven.

Everyone has had their own share of encounter with the nice lil' people who uphold the law in our country. Truth be told, I have always wondered what it would be like to cross into the wrong side of the law. I was just about to experience a piece of the pie!

I had just left the McDonalds in SS2 after a lunch with some friends when I got into my car and left the place. What is one of the most obvious ways I could be stopped?

What's that you say? Correct! I forgot to put on my safety belt. How silly of me.

As I turned into the highway from the small road, I saw a bunch of orang putih. They're traffic policemen donned in their customary white tops and black pants. Immediately, I thought f***, I had forgotten to put on my seat belt. I quickly dragged my seat belt across my chest and prayed for the best.

SUDDENLY THE IDIOT STARTED WAVING AT ME AS I APPROACHED HIM!

Omaigawd, how could he possibly see that? I mean, I was like so damn far away. Like 23,219km's away ok! Damn it, these guys really do have sharp eyes. I can't imagine how little effort it would take for him to spy on another girl bathing from blocks away.

I stopped my car by the side of the road. There were about 6 policemen there, some waiting while some were talking to car drivers. There was a wedding car in front of me too - he must've been pretty unlucky. What, you think wedding fella means no need to wear seat belts is it?

"Encik, you tau you tak pakai seat belt kan?" he said.

"Yealah, saya terlupa lah. Baru keluar McDonalds saja...tak ingat pakai." I sheepishly replied. I wasn't lying though, I really did forgot. At this point I was already thinking of the couple of hundreds flying away to pay the stupid saman.

"Ini, macam mana nak kau tim? Saya kena saman you, tau?"

Wah, not bad also this policeman...can talk to me in cantonese! I tried to put on a very sad and depressed face. Some might call it those cute, sad eyes look. Remember puss-in-boots in Shrek? Yeah, it was similar. Chun right?

"Ada cara lain tak boss?"

"Apa cara lain yang kamu maksudkan tu?" This was a signal that he was willing to accept a bribe. It's a cue, damn it!

"Boleh saya belanja you minum teh?"

"Berapa you mau belanja?"

I opened my wallet. In it was RM10. Again, my policy of holding as little money as possible in my wallet was put to good use as I showed him the little amount I had. If he were to take it, it would be like taking candy from a baby. It's ruthless, ya know?

"Sorry la tuan, saya cuma ada RM10 lah. Saya cuma student saja..." I added on. Obviously I had graduated, but I remembered that I still had my student card with me. I whupped it out and showed it to him. It stated I am still a HELP student untli 2011. Awesome like a possum!

He looked pretty confused for a moment there. He didn't know if he should just give me a saman or take whatever I had. The latter would put him in a guilty position, the former wouldn't benefit him much. Police usually prefer duit kopi over issuing a ticket.

"Oh, HELP ni kat Damansara sana kan?

"Ya ya, bijaklah tuan!"

"You jurusan apa?"

I paused for a moment there, trying to recall what the hell was it I studied because I haven't been touching it for a long time.

"Saya jurusan Ekonomi," I went on.

"Oh, you pakar ekonomi yeah? Baguslah! Pakar ekonomi maksudnya saya boleh saman lah tu?"

OMG WTF. Does it make a bloody difference? So if I say I'm from London, means he'll say he saman me in Pounds lah? Die lah like that. I smiled like a dead person. Please give me chance lah.

He went over to his colleagues with my drivers licence and started a small discussion. I bet they were talking about how little RM10 would benefit them. They're better off spending some time trying to nail those rich buggers.

Actually, I was pretty amazed too because I had thought that policemen in groups would mean no nonsense issues. A ticket was a ticket. There was no such thing as cara lain.

"Ok lah, saya tengok you agak kesian lah, you pergi lah. Kali ini saya bagi chance. Lain kali you ingat pakai tali keledar ok?"

"Terima kasih tuan! Banyak terima kasih! Semoga Allah berkati kamu ya!" Immediately my face litted up like a christmas tree. I bid him farewell and thank the heavens for my watching my back.

Yes, I escaped a policeman fine today. Phew. Memang Bolehland lah this place - apa apa pun boleh!